Perspectively Speaking

They say that each person has three different personas. The one they show to people, the one the people perceive them to be, and the one they keep for themselves.

Isn't it interesting that there are different perspectives to see who it is you really are? You are a combination of each different view. How much of ourselves do we really know? We all hink that we know ourselves, but are our perceptions correct?

I have been asking myself these questions a lot lately. I never feel as though I know exactly what I seem to be. Identity crisis? Perhaps, though I am not actively seeking out who I am through trying out different personas. I've never truly formed an opinion of myself, just what I hope to be, not just perceived by others, but what I want to be as a person.

Any survey done on perspectives of one's own self, and the one that others see them in always comes up with quite interesting results. Each person, as previousl stated, has a part they show the world, and the inner them. Half the time, the difference between the inner and outer self is different only by the degree people show themselves. The other half of the time, they are quite different. If someone isn't comfortable with how they feel or think of themselves,they may decide to create a better, improved self to show.

When you go and ask those who spend time with that person, the public often hav a much different thought on how the person truly is. Many times, I wonder what I show, or seem to be showing myself as. Many people do.

I had a friend back in high school. We rode the bus together. To everyone, she was sweet, innocent, and carefree. It wasn't until a decade later, that she expressed to me the perseption she had of herself. I was shocked at how she saw herself! It was so different from what everyone else saw her as! She believed herself to be so much lower than she was! Eventhough she was well liked, and considered to be so positive and sweet, she saw herself as a castout. She confided in me that she had felt such depression, not the cheerful person we knew her to be.

I was also amazed as to how she described me to be as well. She had a higher opinion of me than I had of myself. But, would she still have that opinion of me, if she knew me today? As we all know, we are always changing.

I started thinking and wondering about such things after I was diagnosed with BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. I decided to research it, and the website I found on how we appear to otheres terrified me as to how I may be affecting those in my life, and mad me wonder what it is I may be subjecting those I love to, and if I should put myself back out into the public world and try to make friends before my "learning to deal with life" classes are over. For the curious, here is the website.
http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/indicators.shtml