Through the eyes of BPD

I figured that since I posted a link that was anti-BPD, I should talk about what it's like to be some one who has BPD, and has to struggle with it. BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder. There are many forms and "symptoms" of it, but in common, each BPD case is struggling with daily life, and suffering internally...trying to keep from affecting those around them, not succeeding.

A person with borderline had once written: "Being a borderline feels like eternal hell. Nothing less. Pain, anger, confusion, hurt, never knowing how I'm gonna feel from one minute to the next. Hurting because I hurt the ones I love. Feeling misunderstood. Analyzing everything. Nothing gives pleasure. Once in a great while I will get 'too happy' and then anxious because of that. Then I self medicate with alcohol. Then I physically hurt myself. Then I feel guilty because of that. Shame. Wanting to die but not being able to kill myself because I'f feel too much guilt for those I'd hurt, then feeling angry about that so I cut myself or O.D. to make all the feelings go away..."

Each of us with BDP have different vises. For the above one, it was alcohol, some go into drugs, some are compulsive spenders, gamblers, reckless driving, binge eating, among other things. We deal with at least two or more of these vises, and are self damaging. Thankfully, due to the Obsessive Compulsive nature I also carry, I have not gotten into the drugs or alcohol, but the ones I do deal with have affected my life, and much ot my regret, the lives of some of those around me.

Those suffeing with BPD have other mental illnesses to deal with as well. There's never just BPD, there's always accompanying problems. For me, it's Obsessive Conmpulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress, Severe Chronic Depression, Panic/anxiety Disorders, and other mood disorders.

BPDs make up 2% of the general population, 10% of all mental health outpatients, 20% of psychiatric inpatients, 75% of us are women, and 75% of us have been physically or sexually abused.

there are many aspects of BPD, and they will be discussed as I go on blogging at different times. I have noticed that there are many misconceptions of BPD sufferers out there, and if I can get out some information that may help, I hope I can do my part to bring some understanding not only to those around a BPD, but to those who may have it themselves.

As horrible as it may sound, there is hope. BPD can lessed with age. Many of us can go on to live well rounded lives, enter in loving releationships, be effective, positive members of society. There is also help. I have been getting help for the past year and a half.

I hope I can shed some light as I continue blogging the subject in later posts. If there are any questions, you can feel free to ask me anything. I will always answer the best I can. Nothing is considered too personal to answer when it comes to dealing with any mental illness, since I see any question as seeking information.