Huh....

I noticed something about myself today. I am completely incapable of having one hand wet, and the other not. I was putting a load into the washer, and rinsing out the soap's cap, one hand getting wet. I immediately rinsed my other hand.
I'm always doing that. If one hand gets wet for one reason or other, I need the other one wet. I've been doing that since I was a kid. Perhaps it's because I like jumping in with both feet in almost everything I do. Thankfully, I have begun thinking before leaping. I'm making better decisions, and get more positive things going. Feeling pretty proud of myself.
Right now, my focus is getting a job. Yes, in this economy, it will be no small feat. Hoping that I won't end up having to get a restaurant job. It's not one of my favorite jobs, but if that's what it takes, I'll do it. Thankfully, I'm not just chasing getting a job. I'm looking into going back to school to study radiology.
I'm also learning how to ask for help. I used to avoid that, even if it meant my own detriment. I've finally learned that it's ok to ask, and have also learned that no one would judge me for asking. You can't get things done by not asking.

New Year, Finding Old Friends

I would like to state that this year has been beautiful. I have been finding, or being found by, friends I have not seen or heard from in years. Rekindling lost friendships can feel more rewarding at times than forging new friendships. Catching up over missed time, reminising, and laughing together.

I am so happy to be back in this blog, it feels as home, and even more thankful to be rekindling with you, my dear ones here! I am a slow blogger, as I was even then. I'm never certain if I have anything worth putting out there. The writing topics and styles you show are so breath-taking to me, that I at times feel at loss of my own words and thoughts. It is a gift, a treasure to be cherished!

It still amazes me so to see that friendships that were long missing feel as though the time never passed away, the years gone never were. I have found that there are even friends who have moved closer to me, that I hope I may get to see again soon. Does it amaze you as well, when you find past dear friends?

These are the thoughts that dance in my head this year.

Returning

Ah, after all tis time, I have returned. So much has changed, that's for certain.

We have a new president, hopefully he will prove himself to be worthy of the vote. (especially since I voted for him) Since the last president left a horrible mess...which unless you've been living under a rock, you'd know what that mess has been. But, just in case: War under false pretenses, lost rights for citizens, a trashed economy due to relaxing regulations allowing greed to take over and ruin the lives of the working force. The environment has been severely (and perhaps irrevocably) ruined. It will be a huge undertaking. We as citizens need to get off our complacent butts and get involved, including writing to our political leaders (who are supposed to be working for us, not the other way around) and make some noise, for pete's sake! We complain, but never work together for change.

I have graduated from DBT for BPD...YAY! It doesn't mean that I have been cured. Not by a long shot. What is does mean is that I now have the tools and skills to deal with life, without the self-destructive behaviors, or alienating the loved ones around me. I'm happily able to keep my emotions in better check as well.

As I was writing this, I saw a news article about a TRUE hero, one from WWII that had died of cancer at the age of 86. He was known as "Shifty"...yes the very one they used for the series "Band of Brothers". He deserved more of a farewell than Michael Jackson had, yet, he slipped by almost unnoticed. Where have our priorities gone? Isn't it sad that we place celebrities above the true heroes? Amazing, isn't it?

My daughter is growing so well! Learning to write, and so much! She loved her first year of preschool, and is excited to start her second. I'm excited for her. I'm also hoping to start college in the upcoming winter semester. My desired course of study? Radiology. I'm hoping that after some years of radiology, I can eventually move on to nuclear medicine. I haven't been in school since......well, a long while. I'll have to defeat my self-doubt and realize I CAN do this.

I have a friend that I am hoping to form a support group for people with BPD. It takes a while to form a group. We aren't going to give up though. He and I are two of the few who stick to the program successfully. We are hoping to show others that they can make it as well.

As I normally do, I am rambling, and yes, I am back to my old habits of random posts, and meandering writing styles. I am, however, going to perhaps begin posting poetry and stories. (those are when I truly show my true writing talent, where I don't meander.

Good to be back, and I hope I can reconnect with some old friends I used to see on here.